I took a shower yesterday. I washed my head and scalp, I put conditioner in my hair, and lost hope for a moment. It was a struggle to get in the shower in the first place, but I needed it. It had been too long in between showers to continue on any longer. So I got in the shower and promised myself to tackle my hair. But my hair was matted. I didn’t realize just how bad it was until I put the conditioner in, and I couldn’t even begin to run my fingers through it. I did the only thing I could think of, and picked at it with a brush. I picked and picked until I finally started making some progress. Everyone loves curly hair when they don’t have it. They don’t understand how much maintenance goes into having curly hair. After picking and hacking, I finally could brush my hair. Victory!
I’ve also been editing a book I wrote. Let me just tell you, editing is awful. It is by far my least favorite part of writing, as I’m sure it is for most people. But I’m proud. Despite how much I hate it, despite how intimidating my entire manuscript is currently looking, I’m doing it. I’m that much closer to one day getting published, which of course is the ultimate goal. So for now I will read, and read, and read some more. I need to make sure that not only are the grammar and spelling up to par, but that my story makes sense. It’s hard when you know the characters inside and out, when you know what all is supposed to happen. So how can I make sure that any average reader can follow this? Unfortunately I think I can only accomplish that by reading it.
Taking a shower and reading may be things that others do on a daily basis, but not me. I used to be one of those people. I took showers daily and had at least three books going on at the same time. I could keep track of the stories and the plots. Now all that takes medication and determination. It doesn’t come easy to me anymore. My own story is the first book I’ve read in years. I’ve since added a book to learn how to write fight scenes, and I’m actually following that book. I want to be published, and that is the driving force for my determination. The medication aspect took several years to alter and tweak before I got to this point, and I’m still a long way off from being as sharp and healthy as I once was. It shouldn’t be an effort to take more than one shower a week. I shouldn’t have to wait for just the right mood between depressed and manic in order to accomplish anything. But I’m hopeful that one day I can reach a point where the in between stages lasts longer than a few moments a week. When that day happens, I hope to still be grateful for the little things.