Rambling thoughts..

This started off being about my moods lately, but I’m so scattered mentally that it really doesn’t work as any one topic. So here is an insight as to how my mind works.

Welp, I’m officially swinging for the sky. My mood has been all over the place for the past week. Mopey, angry, hyper, needy, I’m like the seven dwarfs. My hot flashes are like mini flashes, so I’m not sure these mood swings are menopause related. Plus, it’s only two and a half weeks. But boy oh boy, are the mood swings far from mini. I go from crabby to needy in the blink of an eye, and hunker down in those moods. I might be needy for only a few minutes, but those few minutes require undivided attention from everyone and anyone.

It also doesn’t help that our family is all sick, including me. Runny noses, low-grade fevers, upset stomachs, body aches, and sore throats. The girls haven’t been hit too hard with it, but my husband and I are taking turns sleeping all day. Two days watching the girls while the other one rests, and then we swap. We started doing it so that we could have time to write and read, have some alone time to do whatever we wanted. But with this cold we now take the days to just simply be sick and let the virus run its course.

My overall mood is impatience, with a whole lot of crabby thrown in. I find myself taking a lot of deep breaths before speaking to anyone, just to make sure I don’t snap at them. I’m annoyed much easier than usual by loud noises, even happy ones, and messes. When I’m needy I find myself intruding on my husband’s day off by crawling up next to him just to lay there a few minutes. While sick I’m usually either crabby or needy. Sometimes I’m both, which is super confusing for my husband.

Being cooped up in a house sucks when you’re little, regardless of the reason. I know my kids are at their wits end, but I can’t snap out of these moods. I try to listen to music, but my head hurts. I try to sleep, but I can’t. By seven pm I’m thoroughly exhausted and yet wide awake. I wake up again around three and struggle until my kids wake up around six. Their new obsession is to watch kids playing on YouTube, something my husband and I do not understand. And while it doesn’t hurt anything for them to watch it, it annoys the crap out of me for some inexplicable reason.

To keep arguments down, and to give my impatience proper consideration, I’ve been setting timers for everything. Somehow, there are a toys we only have two of, though we have three kids. So now everyone’s got a timer for playtime with those items. So far, taking turns has gone well. I’ve also been using a timer for tv shows, though taking turns doesn’t work out very well with that. Mostly I just get tired of the same three shows over and over again, so the timer is to limit those for me.

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