Plans Change

I got a call the other day from the plastic surgeon’s office. My insurance is requiring another form of authorization that needs to be mailed to the insurance office. Turnaround is apparently 4-6 weeks. The lady on the phone cheerfully informs me that they can do my surgery on the 28th of July. That would give me roughly ten days of recovery before Josh goes back to school. That’s a no.

So now I’m not having my mastectomy this year, and probably not next year either. This has been such an emotional roller-coaster, that at first all I could do was cry. I had been surprised with the surgeries happening this summer, and then I had to defend my choice to have the surgeries this summer. Now all that was for nothing.

After I got through crying, I got angry. Livid. On one hand my insurance is a life saver, literally, but on the other hand it’s a freaking nightmare. The policies and paperwork that are required just to activate my insurance each month is ridiculous. I have a monthly “spenddown” that I have to pay in order for my insurance to be activated. That can’t be paid over the phone or online. It has to be mailed in. Then I have to wait for them to receive it and process it. And every month it’s gets processed wrong somehow, which requires me to make hour long phone calls where I get transferred office to office while they figure out why my prescriptions aren’t being covered.

The other issue with that, is doctor’s appointments or procedures and tests. If I have an MRI before my spenddown is processed then my insurance turns it back into the hospital, who then bills me. So when I get the bill I have to call the hospital and ask them to run it through my insurance again. These are just a few of the issues I’m faced with every single month. But again, it really is a lifesaver. I wouldn’t be able to afford all of my medication on a different plan. Without some of my medications, I could actually die. It’s a necessary evil that I have to put up with.

And it’s this necessary evil that has now effected my year. I was mentally prepared and ready for this surgery. I bought supplies and drain holders, I set up my recovery care, and my husband was mentally prepared for me to be gone for two weeks following the surgery. And now we don’t know what to feel. Part of me is scared, scared that I will still have to worry about breast cancer. Another part is mad because I just wanted to get the hard part OVER with.

While trying to find the silver lining, at least my summer is now open. If we wait two years then my girls will be older and will understand what is happening a bit better. Having a surgery like this when they are 4, 5, & 6 is a lot better than now. Plus, if everything goes right, we’ll have a house of our own then. I’ll be able to recover at home instead of going without seeing my family for weeks during a stressful time. It’ll be okay and it’ll work itself out, in the meantime I just have to get over this anger and accept that the surgery will not happen this year.